Kazira

I was driving to work the other day when I heard this piece on NPR (radio). Steve Inskeep was interviewing an up and coming music star by the name of Justin Townes Earle. Earle has just released his debut album The Good Life (rock, bluesy, country-ish) and Steve was asking Earle about the album. Earle was addicted to drugs until the day a friend of his dragged him to the hospital. The guy has been clean for 4 years now and said that his failing body forced him to kick the habits. Earle played a few notes from a few songs from his album and I found them rather refreshing. The thing that struck me the most about Earle was how, this guy who was practically down in the pits and had lived a chaotic life, had managed to gather himself together and create some rather inspiring music. BTW, he is only 25 years of age.

The reason I share the above story with you is because often times, in every part of our life - romance, work, family - there are setbacks and disappointments. Some of these are self-created and others happen for no reason of ours. And these can indeed set you back. But it is experiences like these that can be converted to what we call game-changing, career-changing, or life-changing events. Failing is an integral part of the path to succeeding. Pick any great inventor, leader, or artist - every one of them will have a story from their early days which can be classified as a "defining moment" or the point of inflection.

One quality that sets the leaders apart from the others is that they never give up what they believe in and they are fighters. It's this relentless pursuit of something new, bold, and out-there that sets them apart. They do not believe in dwelling on the past but rather, learning from it and coming out smarter and stronger. But guess what, these are not qualities that they were born with. These are qualities that they cultivated and internalized over a period of time, something all of us can learn from and leverage in our professional and personal lives. This quality can give you a competitive advantage over your peers!!

So what are the things that you can start doing, differently? Where does one start? Here are some tips -

1. Embrace the setback - I know this is easier said than done, specially when you were really looking forward to an outcome/output. But by embracing the setback you do yourself a huge favor - you acknowledge that you gave it all you had and that it just was not to be this time. You take the setback as an opportunity to come back meaner and leaner, and "hit out of the ball park" next time around.

2. Introspect - Most people, in a setback situation, blame everything and everybody else. They go into the denial mode where the rest of the world is "enemy # 1". Guess what, this kind of attitude will really not get you anywhere. Rather, time is opportune to reach within and look inside to find things you could have done differently. Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me!

3. Re-invent - That is what I am talking about! Do not let lessons learnt be lessons observed. Be different next time around. But, always, THINK, THINK, THINK before your next move.

4. Step out of your comfort zone - Use that sweet spot but do not get emotionally attached to it. Luck favors the brave and brave are the ones who take a chance. Show the world that you are a risk taker and see how you will get rewarded for that attitude.

5. Identify a role model - Imitate, Emulate. Find somebody that you think/believe has made it and try to replicate their path to success. Learn from other people's mistakes and save yourself some heart ache. Get with your role model and ask them to be your coach or mentor. Set that big ego of yours aside. :-)

6. Become part of the solution, not the problem - That's right. You need to pick sides here. Nobody wants a trouble maker or a whiner. Because that is what will get you branded as a loser. Think how the problem can be solved and share it with the rest of the team. Do not be shy.

7. Take charge - Do not be all philosophical about the setback and blame good old Karma or Destiny. It's your life, your career, your future. You need to do something about it. So for Pete's sake, show some character and grab the wheel for a change.

8. Articulate what you want - The most important of all things, know what you want. This may take some time but you need to figure out if what you just lost was something that you really wanted in the first place. Maybe you had it all wrong to begin with. Maybe it was something else you should have set your sights on.

So next time you think things are going South, put some/all of the above techniques/tips to use. The results may just surprise you.

Note: Photo Credit