Kazira

At first, when I heard of the term Emotional Intelligence (EI) or Emotional Quotient (EQ) – I thought to myself, this is cool – especially for those of us who didn’t scope too high on our Intelligence Quotient (IQ) test – and for those who have always sensed a bit standoffishness from those who scored high on their IQ test – finally, there is another measurement of capability where we (The less fortunate IQ deprived folks) would be able to turn the table around. I’ll show you now Aagashe (He was an all around topper when I was studying in Mumbai). As you can tell, I used to be very naive and hyper-competitive during my adolescence.

Emotional Intelligence is a term well researched in the past but was popularized by a psychologist turned reporter, Mr. Daniel Goleman and his best seller book – Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ . Wikipedia describes Emotional Intelligence Quotient ( EQ ) as an ability, capacity, or skill to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups . So, emotional intelligence is a measure of your zeal, determination, motivation, persistence, hope etc. It is also a measure of how well you can regulate your mood, frustration, empathy and also how well you play with others etc. There is another way of looking at it – if IQ is your measure of rational brain; EQ provides a sense of your irrational side.

There is no equivalent bench mark test to measure your EQ (Good!!! Last thing I need now is another test score to tell me how ungifted I am).

So, why bother with EI or EQ at all? How do I figure where do I stand on the EQ spectrum and could I improve my EQ? If I can improve it – How do I do that? Or is this just another technical term that psychologists use to explain why some folks with mediocre IQ excel above their more IQ-gifted peers????

It turns out – EQ is an emotional quality in you that you use most to succeed in life. A well balanced, less temperamental and stable mind is more useful to succeed in life than an unstable, temperamental, and erratic logical brilliance. Who would you rather have; a boss with calm-mind that gives you constructive criticism or a yelling maniac who is always stresses you out…

Unlike IQ where test scores, which generally do not change much after the teen years, EQ is a set of skills learned throughout life. By understanding ones current EQ individuals can begin to implement effective action plans to improve their emotional intelligence. By learning to be aware of the power and wisdom of emotions in themselves and others and achieving the balance between logical and emotional approaches, individuals can become much more effective in their roles as managers, workers or co-workers.

EQ spectrum for any individual contains a measure of the following emotions –

a) Happiness/Sadness

b) Anger/Cheerful

c) Stress

d) Gratification (Delayed or instant)

e) Empathys

f) Self awareness

g) Anxiety

h) Depression/Optimism

i) Ability to resolve conflict

j) Social skills

k) Impulse

l) Aggression etc.

So, how do I improve my EI? First trying to figure out which of the emotions mentioned above affect your performance. Which of these emotions completely and negatively overtakes your life once in a while? Then work on those using specific self help plan developed with friends, family or a therapist. For example, if anger is the one emotion that causes you mental and other social issues – Count till 10 before you say something hurtful – Deliberate long breaths for a few minutes dissipates the anger quickly – Wait for 24 hours before you send that scathing e-mail etc. are plans to help yourself manage your emotion in life and at work place.

Last thing I want to bring into these discussions is ‘Religion’ – But it turns out – Silent prayers, meditation, and contemplation plays a bigger role in improving your EQ.